5 Things I Wish I Knew Before We Started IVF

Starting IVF was a huge step for us. It was a mix of hope, anxiety, and a million questions. And while I’m grateful for the path it led us down, there are definitely things I wish I’d known before we began. I’m sharing them here in hopes they help another man feel more prepared, more supported, and more grounded going into it.

1. You Will Feel Powerless—And That’s Okay

As a man, I wanted to fix things, to protect my wife, and to “make it work.” But the reality is, IVF puts a lot of control in the hands of doctors, timing, and biology. I wish I’d known earlier that being present is sometimes more powerful than being in control.

2. It’s Not Just a Woman’s Journey

Too often, IVF is talked about as something women go through. But the emotional, financial, and relational weight impacts both partners. I learned to speak up about what I was feeling—and that changed everything. If I could go back, I’d start those honest conversations earlier.

3. Hormones Will Affect Both of You

I didn’t realize how much hormone treatments would impact my wife emotionally and physically. There were mood swings, tears, exhaustion. It’s not just "part of the process"—it’s something to actively support her through. Be patient. Be extra kind.

4. Financial Stress Is Real—Have a Plan

IVF is expensive. And that cost can pile up quickly, especially with multiple rounds. I wish I had sat down with a financial advisor or even just made a realistic budget before we started. Planning ahead could’ve saved us stress and arguments.

5. You Need a Support System Too

I thought I had to be the “rock” 24/7. But that got heavy fast. I wish I had talked to other men going through IVF sooner. That’s why I created The IVF Playbook for Men—so you don’t have to carry this alone. Reach out. Connect. You’re not the only one.

Final Thoughts

IVF is tough—but it’s also full of love, hope, and resilience. If you’re just starting or already in the thick of it, know this: You’re doing better than you think. And you’re not alone.

💬 Have your own lessons to share? Drop a comment below or join our IVF Playbook for Dads Facebook Group!