Fellas, When She Needs to Talk—Please Listen

There’s something about this journey—this uphill climb of IVF, fertility struggles, or even the uncertainty of trying to conceive—that can feel like a war zone. The appointments, the medications, the injections, the waiting, the hoping, the letdowns. And through it all, she carries a weight you will never fully understand.

As men, we’re wired to fix things. We see a problem, we strategize. We want solutions, a clear path forward. But brother, this is not a situation where logic and solutions will always work. Sometimes, she doesn’t need you to problem-solve. She doesn’t need you to tell her “it’ll be okay” or “we’ll just try again.”

She just needs you to listen.

The Emotional Toll on Her

Imagine this: every shot she takes is a reminder. Every doctor’s appointment is a mix of hope and fear. Every negative test cuts a little deeper. Every pregnancy announcement from someone else, while she’s still waiting, stings in a way that words can’t describe.

And here’s the hardest part—you might be hurting too, but society hasn’t taught us how to show it. So while you might be holding back, she’s feeling everything.

IVF changes a woman—physically, emotionally, mentally. Hormones are raging, her body is going through hell, and her mind is constantly battling between hope and heartbreak. There will be days when she needs to cry. Days when she needs to vent. Days when she’s just exhausted from being strong.

And on those days, your job is to show up.

What Listening Really Means

Listening isn’t just about being present in the same room while she talks. It’s about hearing her.

• When she says she’s scared, don’t rush to reassure—tell her you understand, hold her hand, and let her feel what she’s feeling.

• When she says she’s tired, don’t push—let her rest, take things off her plate, remind her that you’re in this together.

• When she cries over something small, don’t dismiss it—those emotions are real, and she’s carrying more than she lets on.

• When she says she feels like she’s failing—remind her that she’s the strongest woman you know, and that no matter what, she is not alone.

Be Her Safe Place

She doesn’t expect you to fix this. She doesn’t need you to have all the answers. But she does need you to be her safe place—the one person who doesn’t judge, doesn’t try to move too quickly past the pain, and doesn’t make her feel like she has to carry this alone.

This journey isn’t easy for either of you, but she’s feeling it in ways you never will. If there’s one thing you take away from this post, let it be this: when she needs to talk, listen.

Because in those quiet moments, when you’re just there—fully present, fully engaged—that’s where love grows. That’s where strength is found. And that’s where she knows, without a doubt, that you’re in this together.

Stay strong, fellas. And more importantly, stay soft for her when she needs it.