The Emotional Rollercoaster of IVF: How Men Can Cope and Support Their Partner

Corey Parchman
Feb 25
3 min read

The journey through in vitro fertilization (IVF) is often depicted as an experience centered around the woman undergoing treatment. However, men also face emotional, mental, and physical challenges throughout the process. From dealing with uncertainty to supporting their partner, the IVF journey can be a complex and emotionally taxing experience for both individuals. Understanding these challenges and developing strategies to cope can help men navigate the journey with resilience and strength.

Understanding the Emotional Toll

IVF can be an emotional rollercoaster due to the high hopes and uncertainties that come with the process. A 2021 study published in Human Reproduction found that men undergoing fertility treatments with their partners experienced increased anxiety and stress levels, often feeling pressure to remain strong while also suppressing their own emotions (Gameiro et al., 2021). The emotions men may experience include:

Guilt – Feeling responsible for the infertility diagnosis or helpless in the face of their partner’s struggles.
Stress and Anxiety – Managing financial costs, medical procedures, and uncertainty of success.
Depression – Coping with repeated disappointments or failed cycles.
Loneliness – Feeling left out of the IVF conversation, as the focus is often on the woman undergoing treatment.

How Men Can Cope

Recognizing and addressing these emotions is essential. Here are some strategies to manage stress and maintain emotional well-being:

Communicate Openly – Many men suppress their feelings to appear strong, but open communication with a partner or trusted friend can help process emotions effectively (Martins et al., 2016).
Seek Support – Joining a support group for men going through IVF can provide a safe space to share experiences and advice (Resolve: The National Infertility Association, 2023).
Take Care of Mental Health – Engaging in mindfulness, therapy, or journaling can help manage anxiety and depression.
Stay Involved in the Process – Attending medical appointments, understanding procedures, and asking questions can help men feel more included in the journey.
Focus on Physical Health – Regular exercise, healthy eating, and reducing stress levels can help manage the physical toll of IVF on mental well-being.

Supporting Your Partner Through IVF

While men experience their own challenges, their role as a supportive partner is crucial. Research from the Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics & Gynecology highlights that emotional support from male partners significantly improves women’s mental health outcomes during IVF (Greil et al., 2020). Here are ways to support a partner:

Validate Their Feelings – Acknowledge and listen to their concerns without trying to “fix” everything.
Participate in the Journey – Be present during appointments, injections, and discussions with doctors.
Offer Reassurance – Remind your partner that you are in this together, regardless of the outcome.
Plan for Self-Care – Taking breaks together and focusing on activities outside of IVF can reduce stress for both partners.

Conclusion

IVF is a shared experience that challenges both partners in different ways. Recognizing the emotional impact, seeking support, and fostering open communication can help men navigate this journey while providing the best support for their partner. Infertility is not just a woman’s issue—it is a couple’s journey, and facing it together with understanding and resilience can strengthen the bond between partners.

For more resources on coping with IVF as a man, visit Resolve: The National Infertility Association (https://resolve.org) or connect with a fertility counselor for personalized guidance.

References

Gameiro, S., Boivin, J., & Domar, A. (2021). 'Men’s experiences with fertility treatment: A systematic review'. Human Reproduction, 36(4), 875-891.

Martins, M. V., Peterson, B. D., Almeida, V., & Costa, M. E. (2016). 'Direct and indirect effects of perceived social support on women’s infertility-related stress'. Human Reproduction, 31(4), 901-910.

Greil, A. L., Slauson-Blevins, K., & McQuillan, J. (2020). 'The experience of infertility: A review of recent literature'. Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics & Gynecology, 41(1), 21-29.

Resolve: The National Infertility Association. (2023). 'Support groups for men going through infertility'. Retrieved from https://resolve.org