It’s OK Not to Be OK

A Message to Men Going Through IVF

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re in the thick of the IVF process, trying to be the strong, supportive partner your wife or girlfriend needs. You might be telling yourself that you have to stay positive, hold it together, and keep pushing forward no matter how you feel.

But let’s be real for a second—this journey is tough. And if you’re struggling, I want you to hear this: It’s OK not to be OK.

The Silent Weight We Carry

Men aren’t always given the space to process emotions, especially when it comes to fertility struggles. Society tells us to “man up” and push through, but what happens when you’re feeling anxious, frustrated, or even helpless? What do you do when the stress of doctor’s appointments, financial strain, and watching your partner go through injections and procedures starts to take a toll on you?

For a lot of guys, the answer is to bottle it up. But suppressing your emotions doesn’t make them disappear—it just makes them heavier.

IVF Takes a Toll on You Too

While your partner is physically going through IVF, you’re going through it emotionally and mentally. You might feel pressure to be the rock, the provider, the one who stays calm no matter what. But that doesn’t mean you’re unaffected.

It’s normal to feel:

• Frustrated when things don’t go as planned

• Helpless when you can’t take away your partner’s pain

• Guilty if you feel like you’re not doing enough

• Angry that this process isn’t as simple as it “should” be

• Drained from the financial and emotional burden

Acknowledging these feelings isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that you’re human.

Finding Your Outlet

So what do you do with all of this? How do you cope when you’re struggling but don’t want to burden your partner?

• Talk to Someone – Whether it’s a friend, therapist, support group, or another guy going through IVF, find a space where you can be honest.

• Write it Down – Journaling can help you process your emotions and let out frustrations in a healthy way.

• Take Care of Yourself – Exercise, eat well, and get rest. Your well-being matters too.

• Give Yourself Grace – You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to show up and do your best.

You’re Not Alone

If you take one thing from this post, let it be this: You are not alone in this. There are other men out there feeling the same way you do, navigating the same challenges, and wondering if it’s OK to feel the way they feel.

I promise you—it is.

IVF is a marathon, not a sprint. Some days will be easier than others, and some days will hit you like a ton of bricks. But through it all, remember that you don’t have to be “OK” all the time. You just have to keep going, one step at a time.

Let’s Talk

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, I’d love to hear from you. Drop a comment, send a message, or join the IVF Playbook for Dads Facebook group. Let’s build a space where men can be real about this journey—because we need that too.

You got this.